Tag Archives: capistrano

Mending a Broken Heart


My apologies for the lack of presence around here lately. I have been trying to mend my broken kitty mothering heart.

Capistrano passed away last Monday morning, November 12th around 3am in the living room from natural causes that will be investigated before his ashes are returned. These were my last parting words to him.

My dearest Capistrano, my Italian lover boy, joy of my life:

One hundred and sixteen days ago I fell in love with you the moment our eyes met and you climbed up onto my shoulder and refused to leave. For the first time in my life, I truly understood what love at first sight meant when you captured my heart. There was no question. We came into each other’s lives when we needed each other the most, as you helped me transition comfortably into my new life out on my own, domesticating and simultaneously acting as your faux kitty mother. You were my comfort, my contentment, my warmth, and my purpose.

Whether it was accompanying me as executive kitty baker in the kitchen, observing my every move, waiting for me at the door while I was taking a shower, climbing up my neck and never wanting to leave, showering me with a billion wet nosed kisses, using your little motor boat 24/7 regardless of what was going on, you fostered my life with unconditional love, and I am forever grateful. Throughout the disappointments and hardships, I could come home and find peace with you.

No matter what I did or could do, there was no solution for this unfortunate, unpreventable situation. I did everything I could to make your short kitty life on this planet as blissful as possible and fought for you to my greatest capacity. You were the greatest companion and furry friend I have ever had and could have asked for during this time. Your personality so unique, so affectionate, so incomparable to any other I have met. You were meant to find me, as I was meant to find you. Despite this fate, we made the best of the sweet time we had together and I am forever grateful. I will mourn for your presence, but keep close the tender memories. May your divine kitty soul rest sweetly and peacefully in heaven and fill the cups of other kitty souls with your sweetness. You will live in and have my heart forever.

Love forever and always, your kitty mama Kylie ♥

I have been dealing with this okay. It comes in waves. I decided to spontaneously pack my suitcase and head out on the road to California for a few days to be with family and friends, to be back to some familiarity and comfort. I couldn’t stand the thought of coming home to an empty kitty-less apartment. At this point, I do not dread going back, and I should get back into my groove pretty soon here. Thank you for your patience, and I am sure I’ll be back and baking up a storm very shortly.

What I’m Grateful For


Hopefully many of you have now found where I’m newly located. Thanks for making it here. After moving and going through many changes of my own, I figured it was rather appropriate to change up my blog. I felt that it was too stagnant and not exactly what I wanted. I feel that WordPress will grant me more flexibility, organization and creativity over the blog, shaping it into my vision, able to reflect more of who I am and what I desire to express. I’ve sincerely been wanting to get back into the “right” hemisphere side of my brain, because lord knows the last two years of stress and dental hygiene school made it almost rot to pieces. Now is the time to make some changes.

Although some days can be the pits, and it has been hard to be patient waiting to finally be an RDH and get my license, I have to remind myself that I have so much to be grateful for and to enjoy this time while I have it, not dwelling in misery, guilt and anxiety that I’m not able to do much about the situation. I have great health, some loving supportive people in my life (particularly my grandparents… I don’t know what I would do without them), the best apartment I could ever imagine in the best location I could ever imagine, a wonderful, affection and frisky kitty that I have the pleasure of witnessing growing into a tomcat, a wonderful boyfriend that I have the pleasure of sharing new experiences with, yummy food (and beer!) in my fridge, a car for convenience, and most importantly, my independence. I can pretty much do anything I please. I have plenty to keep me busy.

This. This is what I need to remind myself of. Nothing will stand in the way of me, success, and my goal. No one else’s success will influence or determine my success. Sometimes things work out for reasons I do not yet know. Maybe there’s a reason I have to wait this long. Nobody knows. 

In the meantime, I have all of these things to be grateful for…

Kitty kisses.

Beer tasting flights.

Spontaneous picnics in the park.

Observing kitty/boyfriend naps.

Classic grilled cheese and tomato bisque soup, imagining it the way your mom used to make it for you. Pure comfort.

Although I don’t do caffeine, discovering this great idea as the best way I can use up my gifted bag of ground coffee is delicious. I like mine with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cardamom, plus a tablespoon or two of sweetened condensed milk.  My heightened anxiety and heart palpitations can suffer in the meantime for this deliciousness.

Getting out for a walk and breath of fresh air around my apartment on a sunny evening.

Look at those canines!

More of this little rascal.

This man.

Making tasty dinners for this man. (Recipe to follow soon.)

Pitchers of PBR.

And pizza.

And meatballs.

And more beer. (I’m so in love with this stout it’s ridiculous.)

Gigantic scoops of blackberry cobbler and peanut butter curry ice cream (AHEM, my new favorite ice cream shop).

This thing was seriously as big as my face.

The ridiculous plethora of good bars around here. We’re totally spoiled.

Sweet Italian vermouth and lemonata.

Late night walks crossing the Willamette.

My bike.

Discovering awesome new cafes and bakeries.

Laurelhurst Park.

My new juicer.

Taking care of my health and teeth (#1 priority, of course).

My kitty-filled apartment complex.

All of this delicious food from a cart for $8. Hot ‘n sour soup, chow mein, lemon chicken, and sauteed veggies. (Beer not included.)

This place.