I Hate Perfume. And Love Chocolate.

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I don’t know about you, but I have yet to find a perfume that I like. I’ve never been a fan. Most scents give me headaches or I get sick of smelling the same after about two weeks. Typically they’re too pungent, flowery, nauseating, too “grandma” smelling (not that I have anything against awesome grandmothers but I think you know what I mean). I don’t want to smell like a beach or the sky or like an armpit, thank you. In most cases, I like the smell of cologne more than I do perfume. I like scents. I like essential oil blends. Anything earthy, woodsy, anise-y smelling. Anything grounding. Scent really is a powerful thing that can affect mood, emotions, memory, heart, energy, outlook on life, what have you. This states it so well:


CB ON PERFUME

“I was once asked to sum up my work in three words or less. It took me about two seconds to arrive at:

“Scent is Life.”

And so it is. We live because we breathe and with each breath, we smell. This is inevitable. The Sense of Smell is our first and most immediate link to the world around us. It reminds us of what (and who) we love. Smell is perhaps the most complex sense we possess and possibly this is why it is the least understood and most often taken for granted… Yet we also know, that none of the other senses can touch us so profoundly as scent. Not even music can stir the mind & heart so powerfully as one tiny whiff. Scent is always individual. Your sense of smell is one of the most unique things about you – more individual than your fingerprints, than the shape of your ear, than the pattern of your retina. Your sense of smell is one of the most important factors that defines you as YOU. The way you respond to any scent is unlike anyone else’s – no one remembers what you do, no one feels what you feel. There is a reason you remember certain scents so fondly – it’s the way nature designed you. Scent is the record of your own special life – it’s your experience. My mission is to capture that experience. I bottle it so you can have it, use it and love it whenever you wish. I can give you scent experiences you never dreamed possible. I create perfumes as unique & individual as those who wear them. And I use a great many scents never before thought of as “perfume”. But I know these are just the scents that really hit us where we live – they’re the ones we remember and love. These scents are life.

To me, this is what the art of perfume is all about.”



I’ve been searching for quite a while now for a signature scent that speaks to me, as my nose is very particular. I definitely know what I like and don’t like. Anyway, that being said, when I found out about this particular company, I Hate Perfume, that makes amazing scent blends minus the alcohol, I was stoked. Speakin’ my kind of language. Each scent has its own intriguing story described so well, which I completely adore.

So I just now bit the bullet and ordered myself a few 2 mL bottles. Take M3 November, for instance, consisting of Pumpkin Pie, Fallen Apples, Bonfire, Wood Smoke, Dried Grass, Fallen Leaves, Wet Branches, Damp Moss, Chanterelle Mushrooms and a hint of Pine Forest. Pretty much anything and everything I could ever adore and more and now I get to SMELL LIKE IT. Holy crap. Of course, I’m blindly assuming that it will smell as good as it sounds, but seriously, how could it not be great? Alongside that, I’m also looking forward to smelling (strictly) like Pumpkin Pie (#154), and Burning Leaves. Burning maple leaves, that is. I can hardly wait.
Now that thy nose will be satisfied, let’s talk about the tongue and those taste buds while we’re at it…
I just busted out this Cherry Rooibos chocolate bar by Vosges a few seconds ago and I’m pleasantly surprised. African rooibos tea, dried Michigan cherries, hibiscus, vanilla, salt, and milk chocolate. Gorgeous. What more can I say? Although none of their chocolates or confections have let me down. I’m pretty much a huge fan of this entire line. Oh what I would do to be back in Caesar’s Palace in their Las Vegas boutique. I was overwhelmed. I mean, c’mon, check out these other amazing creative concoctions… these people know how to combine flavors, for real. They never cease to impress me.
This White Chocolate Enchanted Mushroom. For $75. Oh my gosh. Ridiculous!

55% soft dark chocolate praline + organic Reishi mushroom + white chocolate shell decorated with red dots

Standing nearly 6 inches tall and weighing 1.3 pounds, each Enchanted Mushroom is filled with a soft, dark chocolate and hazelnut blend, made and decorated by hand

Should you find yourself in possession of this precious prize, a helpful hint…one side will cure your mind and the other will cure your body. With a nibble off the first side of the Enchanted Mushroom or as some say, “toadstool,” you will feel your blood begin to flow with a powerful boost of antioxidant immunity. The opposite side will yield increased wisdom and happiness.

Legend has it that should you eat an entire Enchanted Mushroom under the light of the full Alder Moon in April, immortality will be yours. Be careful what you wish for.

I’ve previously tried this Enchanted Mushroom bar, and holy moly, is it genius.
I luckily found a package of this while I was in Portland, as I remember loving the sample I had at the food show last winter. Lemon myrtle, lavender, vanilla, and white chocolate cocoa mix. AMAZING.
Best idea to rip off at home for a lovely weekend brunch: chocolate chip bacon pancakes.
I pretty much obsessed over this at the food show.
I mean, duh.
It’s like a 4-in-1 breakfast.
Pancakes. Bacon. Maple syrup. Chocolate chips.
Sweet, savory, salty and doughy deliciousness.
See more new baking mixes here.
Their ice creams also rock the planet. (I wish they were available again in stores.)

Naga Ice Cream : sweet Indian curry + fresh young coconut + creamy custard ice cream

Red Fire Ice Cream : Ancho & chipotle chili peppers + Ceylon cinnamon + dark chocolate ice cream

Pandan Ice Cream : pandan leaf + dark chocolate ice cream

Wattleseed Ice Cream : Aboriginal wattleseed + roasted macadamia nuts + creamy custard ice cream

They also do sweet celebratory gift packages as well, like this rose champagne with rose truffles. I think I would die and go to heaven. One of these days I’m going to order that for myself. Perhaps once I graduate from dental hygiene school. It’s gonna happen.
Here’s also a gift set with the bacon bars and some good Rogue stout.
How about a subscription to some chocolate ritually arriving at your doorstep on the full moon every 2 months? Like a CSA box, but with chocolate. ON THE FULL MOON. Perhaps just in time for that friendly visitor. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t get much cooler than that. Hefty price tag, but if you’ve got it, why not?
And this.
The milk chocolate truffle collection.
Curry, violet, banana, bacon, cashew.
I would gladly welcome this on my doorstep any day.
And check out these white chocolate “Hip-Hop” truffles.
“This decadent truffle combines white chocolate, Krug ® Champagne and gold leaf—echoing rap’s transition from music to a culture of “bling” popularized in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The word “bling” was first used in 1999 by rappers B.G., Juvenile and Baby Birdman on their track Bling Bling to celebrate their flashy wealth and expensive diamonds. It quickly became a fad, infiltrating rap and hip-hop music until recent years, when the phrase became too commonplace to garner the same street value. Since then, many artists have spoken out against the bling lifestyle, criticizing it as promoting materialism in lieu of responsibility. Even still, “bling” remains a part of hip hop history.”
Love it.
Oh Vosges, how I love thee.
(I swear I don’t work for this company… I just want everything.)

One response »

  1. I'm REALLY intrigued by the I Hate Perfume line… would you be willing to mention in a future post what you think of the scents you ordered? I have a friend in library school in Portland who I'd love to get the Library scent for!

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